Archive for the 'personal' category

Projects

Aug 01 2010 Published by brian under personal

Here’s what I’m currently working on, for those who care (howdy to the both of you), in order of priority.

  1. Assisting my spouse with the ongoing effort to keep her mother out of a nursing home. This effort is not being helped by the distinct lack of elderhelp services available for people who can’t already afford to buy everything they need. Have I mentioned how nice it would be to live in a country that cared about the well-being of its elderly?
  2. My job. A very close second, but still second. Thankfully, I’m working part-time, and have flexibility, so I can take a day off here and there to deal with #1 and make it up without too much trouble.
  3. Job-hunting. Despite #2, I do still want to find something in my chosen field. Might take quite a while, though, given the state of the economy. My boss, if he’s reading this, can relax.
  4. Writing. I have at least three stories I’m actively working on, several more that have been effectively abandoned but could be revived, and at least half a dozen ideas I’m developing on an ongoing basis. (Biggest problem here is that the last of the three is absorbing most of the effort; I need to shift my energy to the first, if I’m going to accomplish my goal of publishing something this year.)
  5. Learning Chinese. I started well in February and March but lost my momentum since then because of #1. I’m making occasional stabs at restarting, but it’s not easy.
  6. Reading my backlog of unread books, which are numerous (71 at the moment, according to LibraryThing). I have a whole bookcase near my bed devoted to these, and it snickers at me whenever I pass it.

Those would appear to be the major ones. Minor ones include getting back into programming, reviewing my scientific math, and learning to play music. (I recently came across a piano course that, glory be and save us, actually worked. Once I get a full-size keyboard, this will move up in priority.)

This list contains more than I would like, and is not in the order that I would choose. But, as we well know, the universe is not obligated to conform to our desires and expectations. More’s the pity.

Update: Just realized that this post is distressingly similar to this one from just a couple of weeks ago. Not only am I whining about having too much going on, I’m repeating myself doing it. This is not good and must change.

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By any other name

Jul 17 2010 Published by brian under china, chinese, personal

Back in March, when I was first starting to learn Chinese, I realized early on that I wanted to make use of Chinese websites and social networks to help me learn the language. But I had a dilemma. What name to use? I use my real name pretty much everywhere online–I’ve hated cutesy handles for quite a while now–but I wanted something more appropriate for Chinese sites.

Often, Western students of Chinese receive a name early in their class, usually by choosing it with the help of the instructor; in business contexts, a name might be given by a Chinese-speaking colleague. This is because many Chinese have trouble using and remembering Western names, and also because it makes a useful exercise. But I don’t have an instructor, and so, if I wanted a Chinese name, I had to do it myself. And I quickly discovered that this is harder than you might expect, for several reasons.

First, Chinese names are structured very differently. A standard Chinese personal name consists of three characters. (There are variations–for example, some family names have two characters instead of one–but this is rare.) The first character is the family name, which for Westerners is usually drawn from the most common family names. The second is a generational name, which for native Chinese is typically the same for all children in a family in the same generation; these are chosen in advance by the family. And the third character is the true given name.

In addition to this, there is meaning to consider. In the West, we typically assign names with little thought to what the words mean; probably most people have no idea what the etymology and original meaning of their name was. (I happen to know mine; “Brian” is Celtic and means “noble”.) Chinese doesn’t work the same way; most names are made up of common words that are in wide use. So it’s very important to consider the meaning of the words when choosing a name. This is complicated by the fact that Chinese has so many homonyms; one needs to know not just what the potential name means, but all its sound-alikes as well.

Plus, numerology is important. Characters are assigned to yin or yang, depending on whether the number of strokes in the character is even or odd, and there are particular patterns of yin and yang that are favored. And, finally, there are several cultural factors and taboos; certain qualities are particular to men or women, names are supposed to be well-balanced soundwise and require few strokes to write, and while originality is valued, the name should still be made up of common words.

So, what to do? I spent a good deal of time doing research and reading everything I could find online about Chinese names. After much thinking, playing, reading, and gnashing of teeth, I came up with a name.

I am:

安彬锐

Or “ān bīn ruì”, also written An Binrui.

So, why these characters? Well, “ān bīn ruì” (high tone for the first two syllables, falling tone for the third) bears a little resemblance to Brian, and that’s good. Moreover:

The family name 安 (ān) is one of the 100 most common Chinese family names; it means “peaceful”, “tranquil”, or “quiet”, and also has connotations of stability, security, and honesty.

The generational name 彬 (bīn), meaning “cultivated”, reflects a respect for tradition. Also, its most common homonym, 宾, means “guest” or “visitor”, which reflects my outsider status within the culture.

(Incidentally, fans of anime will be interested to know that in Japanese, 彬 is pronounced “akira”. It has the same meaning as in Chinese.)

The given name 锐 (ruì) means “sharp”, and reflects intellect and wisdom. Besides applying well to me (heh), these are traditionally masculine qualities and are therefore appropriate for a male name. It also has a common homonym, 瑞, meaning “auspicious” or “lucky”, which is nice.

These are all common words that require few strokes to write, and the complete name is well-balanced between vowels and consonants. Also, thankfully, the name appears to be unique. I was unable to find any hits for it on Google or on its Chinese competitor Baidu. Uniqueness is very good.

I haven’t had a chance to check with a native Chinese speaker to find out if I messed up, but from everything I’ve read, I think I did okay. And I’ve been using the name on Baidu Space for four months now without comment–although I do intend to write a version of this post there to find out for certain.

So. I already had my Western name–actually, I’ve had two, since I took my spouse’s surname last year–as well as a Tibetan name (Tenzin Galpo) from a Buddhist teacher some years ago. And now I have a Chinese name as well. I wonder if I’ll be getting any more?

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Quiet, please

Jul 16 2010 Published by brian under meta, personal, writing

Haven’t had much to say the last week or so. Actually, this is a good thing; it means that the constant rush of events over the previous three months has subsided. Medical issues have subsided, my mother-in-law is doing well, my spouse is back at work, and things are returning to normal.

Of course, getting back to “normal” means getting back to such fun activities as my little part-time research job, as well as looking for the job that will replace it. (Not fun, due to the economy; currently, there are nearly five times as many job seekers as there are available jobs. Professions are a little better but not by much.)

Not to mention my writing, which is slowly sputtering back to life; I’m not producing any words, but I am doing research to develop an alternate-history world that I have good feelings about. I already have one story pretty thoroughly plotted. So, at some point, that should see the light of day.

Meanwhile, all my other interests are currently trying to crowd themselves into my free time, like students in the sixties cramming into a phone booth. There’s my volunteering, there’s studying Chinese, there’s pleasure reading, and now there’s also music (which I will surely discuss in further detail in a later post). I’m not working nearly enough to have this much time pressure in my leisure activities.

Oh, yeah, and there’s also the small matter of spending time with my honeybun. Which of course tends to trump everything else. But that’s okay. I have my priorities, after all.

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Ahhh, normality.

Jul 05 2010 Published by brian under family, meta, personal

So, last weekend we brought my mother-in-law home from the facility where she’s spent most of the last three months. She’s doing much, much better and is impatient to get back to her regular life. Which we think, with some ongoing assistance, she should be able to do.

And so, we are tentatively declaring the crisis to be over, and I’m happy to say that we’re returning to what passes for normality around here. My spouse is back at work today; I’m planning to resume volunteering this Friday; and in all respects we are sliding back into our usual routine. It’s certainly possible that things will go sideways again, but for now, praise Eris, we’re back to our regular programming.

Therefore, I think I can promise a return to my usual musing, whining, and general complaining about the world, rather than all this personal stuff. Stay tuned.

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Approaching normality

Jun 24 2010 Published by brian under family, meta, personal

A short update. My spouse arrived home last night, having successfully moved her mother’s things into the new, more accessible apartment. And the MIL is continuing to improve. Target date for taking her home from rehab is the first of July.

So, after nearly three months of running around like mad–interrupted by travel and my own medical issues–it looks like we may finally be reaching the end of this thing. There are no words for how grateful we are.

And now, that means I can start easing back into everything I didn’t have time for before. Like museum volunteering. And learning Chinese (though I’ll basically have to start over with that). And learning to play keyboard. And writing–in fact, just yesterday I managed to identify a point of divergence for the alternate-history Western stories I want to write.

And, oh, yes, job hunting. Can’t forget that.

Not to mention wrapping up all my personal venting here. Soon we will be returning to the usual blathering. Aren’t you excited?

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A faint glimmer of light.

Jun 19 2010 Published by brian under family, personal

Well, I haven’t written much, because things have been crazy since the last entry. But, to put it succinctly: We did move my mother-in-law up here to Santa Rosa. Sadly, it turned out to be a complete disaster.

Recall that the goal was to have her closer to us and to make it easier for us to manage her. The first step in all of this was to have her start in a rehab facility that was as good as the one in Santa Cruz. So we talked to some local experts and chose one with a good reputation–only half a mile from our house. Can’t get more convenient than that, right? And they had a bed available right then. Wonderful.

We visited there and saw little to alarm us; we talked to the managers and they seemed competent, if a little distant. We made all the arrangements and went down to Santa Cruz one Saturday to move her up here. That part, at least, went smoothly.

Unfortunately, once we arrived, things went very rapidly downhill. I won’t go into detail, because it’s personal (and because we’re going to be filing a formal complaint against the facility). But suffice it to say that their staff was incredibly uncaring and unprofessional, they had lots of trouble with aging facilities and deferred maintenance, and they were completely unresponsive to our concerns. We didn’t trust them from the moment we arrived, and it kept getting worse.

Needless to say, we got her out of there; but for bureaucratic reasons, it turned out to be nearly impossible to move her anywhere else. And we also had second thoughts about taking her away from her doctor and her friends. Thankfully, the place she had been in in Santa Cruz still had a bed available; so we aborted the move and took her back.

You can imagine how hard this was for us; we had invested a lot of trouble and emotion into this move. But, fortunately, things began to improve almost immediately. First, she suddenly started doing a lot better with her therapy, to the point where a return home in the near future began to seem possible. And, second, her landlord offered us a disabled-accessible apartment in the same building. Basically the same, but with wider doors, lower counters, more shelves at easier-to-get-to heights, etc. We jumped at the offer, of course.

So that’s pretty much where we stand now. My sweetie is down in Santa Cruz moving her mother’s stuff into the new apartment; I’m staying home, for a number of reasons. And my mother-in-law is still doing well. Target for moving her home is in two weeks.

We’re both a little wary of this plan, given the fiasco of the attempted move; but we’re also both feeling a whole lot better about the new plan. And it’s nice to finally have things falling into place for once, and to have a faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes the gods just kind of let you know you’re on the right track, and that’s what we’re feeling right now.

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Family: progress and excitement

Jun 01 2010 Published by brian under family, personal

Well, there have been lots of family-related things going on. I’m pleased to report that our current situation seems to be moving toward a bit of a resolution, at last. Our ill relative–my mother-in-law–is stable, for the time being, and so we’re making plans to move her up nearer where we are so that we can do a better job of helping her. Of course, this requires vast amounts of planning; but I think we’re going to be okay. We’ll see.

I’ve been back home for a couple of days; my beloved spouse has remained in Santa Cruz to keep an eye on the situation. But she will be coming home tomorrow, and man, will our dog be happy. Along with the rest of us, of course.

So, that’s the progress; now for the excitement. I’ve managed to do something amazing involving a completely different branch of my family. Back in 1964, my mother was forced to put her younger sister up for adoption after their mother died. She has spent the last 46 years regretting it, even though it was the only thing she could do (she was 16 and her sister was 12). All this time, she’s wondered what happened to her sister, and in the last year she’s gotten serious about finding her.

Lately, I’ve been spending time on Ancestry.com, doing research on several groups of my ancestors. Last week, I was looking for info on some of my mother’s relatives, when I noticed that somebody else had also been looking at these people and had a lot of good information. Curious, I looked at her profile and the family trees she’d made–and discovered that she had to be the daughter of my long-lost aunt.

Things proceeded rapidly from there, and to make a long story short, my mother has found her sister (who had been looking for her for 30 years), I have two new cousins, many photos have been exchanged, and there’s going to be a grand reunion in a week and a half. Everyone is excited and happy.

Sadly, I can’t be there; no money to travel to Oklahoma right now. But still, it feels so good to have been able to do this for them.

Oh, and my personal medical issue appears to finally be resolved. All complications and side-effects have subsided; all systems are functioning within normal parameters. And the original issue appears to have actually been fixed. There are no words for how relieved I am to have this over with.

So, lots of news, and most of it good (though still stressful). Life marches on.

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Next up, more of the same.

May 26 2010 Published by brian under personal

Well, we’re in a holding pattern now with regard to the family emergency. I wish I could say that things have stabilized, but I’m afraid that would not be true. There have been and will continue to be more uncertainty, more stress, and more runs down to Santa Cruz and back. Pretty much the same as usual over the last couple of months.

This has pretty much consumed everything else in our lives, and there’s no sign that it’ll end anytime soon–though we have a radical step in mind that might make things easier over the long term. We will see. In the meantime, missives from me are likely to be few, sporadic, and not all that much fun to read. Apologies are offered.

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Abstraction

May 20 2010 Published by brian under personal

The title of this post refers to the lean and ruthless presentation of the insane maelstrom that my life has fallen into the last few weeks.

I mean, I could tell you about how my surgery went two weeks ago. The literal writhing-on-the-floor-in-agony that my dear sweetie had to put up with for the better part of a week, and then the slow improvement, and then the unspeakably disgusting aftermath, which now (finally) appears to be fading. I could tell you in detail about all that.

And I could also tell you about the continuation of the family emergency that has utterly turned our lives upside down in the last seven weeks, and that continues to yield one crisis after another–all of which we’re trying to manage long-distance. Oh, and yes, we’re taking yet another trip to Santa Cruz. We had previously planned it for tomorrow, but it just got moved up to today. So I’m a little frazzled right now–though nothing to compare to my spouse, who has become the point person on all of this.

I could share all that with you. But, frankly, I don’t even have the time to be writing as little about it as I am right now. So, what you get is abstraction. See how that works?

Further updates as circumstances warrant–and permit.

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Strange new worlds

Apr 29 2010 Published by brian under personal, photos, travel

Yesterday, my spouse and I returned from our trip to Colorado Springs. As I mentioned before, this was a business trip, and that part of it went remarkably well. Fortunately, we also managed to get some play time in.

For instance:

This is Garden of the Gods, a park just west of town with some truly astonishing rock formations. These sandstone towers top out at around 300 feet. We had heard much about this place both before and during our trip, but didn’t think we would be able to go. As it turned out, it was no problem, and we got to see it on our last day.

This was the most spectacular example of scenery we saw, but not the only one. I’d always heard about how beautiful Colorado was, but apart from a quick drive through the state in 1988 (including through Colorado Springs), I’d never seen it. Now I want to see more.

And Colorado Springs itself proved to be far more interesting and enjoyable than I’d expected. The place has a reputation for being extremely conservative and religious. I’m sure that’s true, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t cool places and fun things to do.

Not to mention that this was the first time we’d ever flown anywhere, and it turns out we still travel remarkably well together, even with the greater distance and the stressful circumstances. This is good to know for when we get around to traveling overseas.

In other news, the family medical situation has continued to improve. We’ll be returning to Santa Cruz again the weekend of May 1st, and with any luck, things will have reached an equilibrium. Slowly, by degrees, we are resuming normality.

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